Some days...

This damn sadness wont leave me. just came on and caught me off guard. I've deleted all my facebook groups, unfriended over 20 people. can't even think. blocked her again, both of them this time. I need it to just stop. go away. Im sick and tired of it. I am going to drink today, I can't even begin to care. I am on the verge of tears once more, not able to think. what am I going to do. the rehab place have not called my preferred line and I keep missing their calls, but I can't go in now. not right now. things are not right. I have nothing left. I have a few weeks of maybe existing before I will have to make a choice. I cant leave, and I cant stay.  I cant move. I cant breathe. I cant think. I cant think.. I cant think. nothing I do will make any difference, I can't stand it. I have no one to talk to, no one who I won't let down. Nothing.

I FUCKING GIVE THE FUCK UP.